Week Four: Why is tango so damn sexy?

So after my trot in the Andes, I slipped back into city life Monday and Tuesday.

I rose at a normal hour Monday morning (see: 9:45 am) so that I could make the 11 am tour at the Palacio de las Aguas Corrientes. Now either my guidebook was misleading, or I completely misread it. I thought that the perk of the guided tour was to see the inner workings of the Palacio - which provides the water for all Buenos Aires - as it worked. I stand corrected. The Palacio is the pretty building that houses the pipes that used to provide the water for all Buenos Aires. Now, it is a museum. No cascades of water. Just a lot of hollow pipes. Big pipes. But just empty columns.

I guess I will leave the gushing water to Iguazu.

The museum also stands as a shrine to 1) the architecture of the building and 2) the uses of water. So, I saw a lot of toilets. I mean A LOT of toilets. Apparently, the evolution of the dear inodoro (thats Spanish for toilet) is quite important in terms of water usage. You have your average chamber pot. You have the more innovated toilet that has working plumbing. You even have gendered toilets; this includes urinals and toilets and bidets, but also just 2 different toilets for men and women. There are even toilets that have sinks at the top of them so that the water that normally drains to the outside from your sink, can be used more efficiently in your toilet. Boy did I receive an education.

In all seriousness, the building was beautiful and I felt it was a part of Buenos Aires history that I should take a look at.

I then hopped on the Subte to Villa Crespo and Once. I bought myself a hairdryer in ye old Jewishville on Estado de Israel street. Then I wandered to an art gallery Arte x Arte. There were three floors of exhibitions. It's supposed to be the cutting edge of contemporary art. I suppose it was. And I keep going to these art galleries because I like art. But in all honesty, I am a traditionalist. I like classic art and classic technique. I should accept the fact that I am close-minded and not go to exhibits with photos of men working on the salt flats or origami dinosaurs made of pesos. Not my thing - although something to do.

Soon I was really hungry, and I knew that two subte stops away there was a kosher McDonalds. HALLELUJAH! Inside the Abasto (a very large shopping mall) I found the McDonalds Kosher. The golden arches never shined so brightly.

McPollo or Cuarto de Libro? McPollo or Cuarto de Libra? I went with the hamburger. And there I sat amongst the wigs and the tzit tzit. So happy. Meat tastes so good. Though it's still McDonalds and I think my stomach was not too pleased with me. But whatever.

I then went to my third tango lesson. I swear my only regret from this trip will be not taking enough tango. And now to the answer of the title question: tango is so damn sexy because it is all about maintaining contact. When the man puts his arm on your back, it's not just his hand on your back. His arm wraps around you and his hand forms this tight cup grip on your ''dorsal'' as they call it. See how you feel with a guy practically squeezing his arm around you. And then, the woman grips the guys bicep. His bicep. I mean, hello! It's all about tight gripping in the upper body. And the two hands that are just holding each other actually push against each other so as to communicate the direction in which you dance. There's a lot of directional information involved, so direct physical contact is necessary.

Of course this can become a little awkward when the men you are taking with are awkward little foreign men who are in their 40s randomly deciding to take up tango. But hey. I gotta learn somehow. And I´ve made friends with the teachers who are all young.

I caught up with my friends from the hostel later that night. It was amazing to see them. One week can feel like such a long time. We hugged each other like it had been an eternity. But it´s nice to know that I was missed.

Tuesday I slept a little later and met up with my friend Alex to go to La Boca. La Boca is the neighborhood with all the funky colored buildings and tango dancing in the street. It's basically a tourist trap. But there's a reason it's a tourist trap. Colorful buildings are just fun. And there are a lot of local artists and artisans painting and carving wood and such in the streets. It was nice to walk around for a couple of hours - like everything else in Buenos Aires that lasts 'a couple of hours'.

We wandered a bit from the main road (but not too much because this is the sketchy part of town) to take a look at the soccer stadium for La Boca Juniors. We wandered around the stadium and took some pictures with the golden statue of Maradona. I tell you, these people are OBSESSED with Diego Maradona. He is everywhere. His face is on the side of random buildings as mural art. Their fixation with this main is unbelievable. You'd think he single-handedly freed the nation from the Spaniards or something.

Anywho, that night I went to a Tango Show at Esquina Carlos Gardel, named for the famous tango cantante. The most expensive outing yet, my 100 dollars covered my three course meal, bottomless glass of wine (it's too bad I don't like it more), the 1.5 hour tango show and transportation both ways. I tell you, they understand value here. New York should think about that transportation thing. The show was incredible. TANGO IS SO HOT! The show kind of went through a history of the tango style-wise, showcasing lyrical/ballet style tango, classic tango, and then the FIERCEST tango I have ever seen. I mean, the entire audience just did not know what to do with themselves. Haha. The costumes were magnificent and the energy was smoking. The tango orchestra was amazing...I never thought the accordian could be such a beautiful instrument. But paired with a violin and playing tango music, its pretty sweet. And the female tanguero cantante. HOLY CRAP. That woman can sing. She had that husky Spanish 'I yearn for you' thing going on. Just a fantastic show.

The energy of the tango is sexy because of that 'longing.' It's embedded in the physicality of the dance. We are going to press our upper bodies together so that I am breathing down your neck, but we are going to make space between our lower bodies so that I can weave my legs like a spider's web between yours. Absurd. We are going to be so close to kissing each other that it is practically painful not to. The tension permeates the dance and that's what makes watching it so entrancing.

I wish I could tango.